Home
by shadowhuntingdauntlessdemigod
Summary: Home for Oliver is wherever Felicity is. When she is quiet over the comms and Digg acts more worried than usual, that's when Oliver starts to get suspicious. It's not until he gets back to the loft, which is cold and dark, that he realizes what has happened. And things will never be the same.


**New Olicity oneshot! This has some spoilers for 4x09, but things have been changed, so it doesn't really spoil anything. This one has more angst than the previous one. That's about it! Hope that you all enjoy!**

 **Huge thank-you to I-Write-Upon-My-Whims for being an amazing friend and looking this over and helping me out with some of the scenes.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or the characters. (But how cool would it be to say that I did?)**

* * *

Oliver took a final deep breath and pulled the thread through, closing the wound. He quickly tied it off and placed a fresh, white bandage over it. A grey shirt replaced the Arrow uniform, which was back in its place in the cabinet.

It had been a fairly normal night—normal for him anyways. Taking out more ghosts and trying to find out where Darhk was. A bullet had grazed his right arm, but it was nothing major. It would be annoying to draw back and fire his bow, but it was nothing that he couldn't or hadn't been able to manage before. Everyone else had been busy and Diggle was at home with Lyla and Sara. Even Felicity had been quiet over the comms. For one of the first times since starting his growing mission, he had felt almost alone.

He entered and took down the security without a problem. H.I.V.E agents poured out of the small safe-house, not so safe anymore, and attacked. They were easy enough to defeat, but none of them gave him any info on Darhk.

Every once and a while, Felicity would warn him of something, but other than that she was quiet. There were no shouts over the comms, or an 'are you okay?' when he grunted as the bullet scraped by his arm. While thinking about the night, he didn't even hear her come up behind him until her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. Her heels had been silent on the hard floor.

"Nice job out there tonight," she whispered into his ear before pulling away. Her eyes glinted with a mix of happy curiosity that he had come to love her for.

Oliver sighed and fixed his shirt. "It was nothing. A little strange without anyone else out there, though. Even you were quiet." He took her hands in his. They were soft and very light. Her wedding ring, the one that he had given her, was cool and hard against his skin. "Something going on?"

She shook her head, blonde ponytail dancing on the back of her neck. Felicity pushed her glasses back up onto their place on her nose before answering. "Nope. Everything's absolutely perfect." She placed a kiss on his cheek before taking her bag from the desk and bringing it onto her shoulder. "I'll see you back at the loft. I've got to pick up some groceries or we will be eating the cupboards for dinner."

"That's why the universe invented takeout," Oliver called as she got into the elevator and smiled at him. She seemed to almost shimmer as she pressed the button to go up. The frosted doors closed and she was gone.

He smiled, something that he seemed to be doing more with Felicity in his life, and picked up his brown jacket.

"Oliver?" Digg's voice came from inside the compound.

Oliver spun around. "Digg. Thought you were home with Lyla."

"Yeah I was. I came by to give Andy some food and see if he needed anything before heading back home." He paused for a second, looking over Oliver worriedly. "You went out tonight? Alone? Why didn't you call me?"

"You were with Lyla and I didn't want to interrupt," Oliver replied.

Digg sent another questioning glare his way. But it wasn't a strong glare like Oliver usually got. The one right before the 'why did you mess up so badly' speech came around. This look was filled with compassion and a hint of sadness. It confused Oliver to say the least.

"Who were you talking to?" Digg asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I wasn't alone on the mission. Felicity was here, calling out some of the guys." He decided to leave out her quietness. Maybe she had a bad day, or was feeling down. He didn't need to micromanage everything and make sure that she was feeling extremely happy all the time. Even though he could try, Oliver knew how much she hated it when he constantly worried over her.

A look of hurt crossed Digg's face as he struggled to meet Oliver's eyes. He was keeping something from him. "Where is she now?"

"Went to the market to pick up some stuff for dinner. She left right before you came in."

Digg nodded, very slowly. Oliver could see words struggling to get past his lips. Instead, he placed a strong hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Lyla's having some friends over tonight, please call me and save me." The lie slipped out easily between his lips, but Oliver still noticed.

Oliver chuckled. "Your excuses are almost as bad as mine."

"Yeah, almost." He seemed far away. "Seriously man, call me if you need anything."

"Yup, okay." With that, Oliver shrugged on the jacket, wincing slightly as he did and stepped into the elevator.

"Though nothing was as bad as your energy drink filled syringe," Digg called out as Oliver pressed the button for the elevator doors to close.

"You are never going to let that go, are you?" He saw Digg shake his head 'no' right before the doors closed between them. After a few seconds, he was back onto the floor of his campaign office, striding out the doors and walking to where his motorcycle was parked outside. He brought the helmet onto his head in a swift motion and started the engine, riding out from the parking lot and onto the street.

Digg's face and actions still worried him. Had something happened to Felicity? Was it about Ray? Oliver shook his head and focused on the driving ahead of him. His questions could wait until he got home. Then he could ask them face to face.

'Home'. It was a word he had thought of without any second thoughts. The loft, which had once been Thea's, did seem like home to him. As much as the Queen Mansion had. He felt a sense of belonging there, and he knew that Felicity was the main reason for that sense. Just being around her, he felt safer. He felt like he was home.

Without even realizing it, he had made it to the loft. He parked the motorcycle and climbed up the stairs, reaching for the keys in his pocket. He knew that Felicity wouldn't be home for a little while, so he probably had time to take a shower beforehand. His keys turned in the lock and the door opened.

It was completely dark in the loft. Dark and cold. Oliver flicked the lights on and placed the keys on the table. A sense of loneliness had settled over the room.

Shrugging it off, he walked up the stairs and changed to take a shower.

* * *

Even a shower did not help to cleanse the frigidness that seemed to have set into his bones the moment he walked in. Oliver walked back downstairs, expecting Felicity to be home and setting up something for dinner. He just prayed that he didn't find the kitchen on fire when he got down.

But what he did see, the second his feet touched down, was worse than any burned kitchen could have been. There was a pink rose sitting in a vase on the table. The rose was dead and wilted and all of the water had left the vase. Oliver walked over to it, looking at the crumpled petals.

That's when it hit him. That's when he remembered. That's when it all made sense. That's why he stumbled onto the floor, clutching the vase to his chest.

Digg's uneasiness. The coldness of the loft. Felicity's quietness. _Felicity_.

She wasn't coming back.

The memory flooded back onto him of their engagement night. The warm lights that had shone down on them when she had said yes. The soft kiss in the back of the limo. The happiness that had radiated from the both of them.

Him covering her to protect her as Darhk's men opened fire on their vehicle. Driving them away to what he thought would be safety, only when he saw that she had been hit in the crossfire of bullets. Him pulling her limp form from the back of the destroyed limo. Her body in his arms as the ambulances came too late. Her blood, staining her once pink dress. Staining his once clean hands.

She was gone and he hadn't been back to the loft since the funeral. Since he had put the flower from the cemetery in the vase of water, turned, and locked the door behind him. Sped to the Foundry and broken two training dummies before Thea stopped him. She wrapped up his bloody knuckles with soft words and tears in her eyes.

For the first time in her entire life, she had been the one comforting him as he fell apart.

A week and a half. That was how long he had been without her.

"You'll never be without me, Oliver," a soft voice whispered, filling the room.

Oliver's head came up, everything foggy through his tears as he bit back the urge to throw the vase into the nearest wall. Instead, he stood up and placed the vase back onto the table.

"I'll always be here." She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him. He turned around and looked at her. Really looked. She was there before him, but she shimmered, she was too perfect.

"But you're not," he whispered. She took his hands in hers this time and looked up at him.

"But I am. I am right here Oliver, and I always will be. I signed onto your team. I can't exactly sign off." Her attempt at a joke fell flat as his tears hit their hands.

"I am so sorry that I couldn't save you." An image of her on the street hit him.

Her eyes barely open, staring up at him as he begged her to hold on just a minute longer. The final 'I love you' that had crossed her lips before her hand went slack and her gaze drifted away. "I should have saved you. I could have driven faster or protected you better or-"

"No." She said the word forcefully and brought a hand up to cup his face. "You will not do this to yourself again. You will not do what you did with Shado and Tommy and Slade and Moira and almost Thea. You will not blame yourself."

"But there's no one else to blame," his voice shook out.

Felicity shook her head. "Darhk. Not you. You did your best. You saved me a million times over. Gave me the time of my life. You gave me a purpose. We saved people. A lot of people. But you can't save everyone."

"I should be able to protect the one that means the most to me." She drew in closer to him. If she were real, and not just a figment of his imagination, she would probably hug him. Or slap him. Or both.

"Oliver, you are guilty of nothing. I signed onto this. It is not your fault that this happened. You could not have changed anything."

He sighed again.

"The minutes I spent being engaged to you were the best five minutes of my entire life," she whispered, eyes never breaking their stare with his. "I will always be a woman that you love. And I will never leave you."

"But you already did, because of me."

Felicity stepped back a little. "I just gave a good speech and you entirely missed the point. I am gone, apparently so, but you, you sir, are not. You are going to pick yourself up and you will find this son of a bitch and you will end him. Because that's what you do. You honor people's memories by making sure that they are never forgotten. As long as Diggle or Lyla or Roy or Barry or anyone else in Star City or Central City are alive, I will never be forgotten."

"And you will never forget me. And I will never forget you." Oliver raised his head to look at her again, a tear trailing down his cheek. "And don't you dare say that you're sorry."

"I love you," he whispered, hand clenching down over hers.

She came back to him and into his open arms. "I love you too. Don't you ever forget that."

And he held her. Arms tightly wrapped around her back, as if he would never let her go. A last line of defense against the void of darkness.

But eventually, his grip ended. She disappeared with a small smile and he was alone again in the loft. The cold feeling was gone, replaced with one of warmth. With one of home.

Oliver looked down at the flower, picked it up, and opened the trashcan. In went the vase and the flower. After taking a few deep breaths and wiping any remaining tears from his eyes, he grabbed a picture frame and his phone.

He sat down on the gray couch. The one that he would lay on and Felicity would lay on top of him for because he was much comfier than the it was. They would lay like that, watching the television, until she fell asleep. Then Oliver would gently pick her up and carry her upstairs, placing her gently into the bed before getting in himself.

Oliver stared at the picture frame, the image taken from one of their many trips together. She was pressing a kiss to his cheek as they both smiled.

Numbly, he opened the phone and pressed Digg's contact. He brought the phone up to his ear, listening to two dial tones before Digg finally picked up.

"Oliver?" His voice was kind and cautious.

"Hey, Digg."

"Is Felicity there?"

Oliver shook his head, before remembering that Digg couldn't see him. "No," he forced out, "she's…gone." Digg listened for a moment as Oliver coughed and tried to find his voice through the tears. But his that was closing up around the words that he could not stutter out. If he said them, then it would be true.

"She's dead," he finally managed to choke out. Oliver heard Digg apologize over the phone and say some other things. He asked Oliver if he wanted to head to Big Belly Burger. Oliver heard himself murmur 'yes' and 'thank you'. Digg would pick him up in ten minutes.

That was what he gleaned from the conversation. As Digg's voice cut out, Oliver dropped the phone from his ear, clutching it in his fist. Silent tears fell onto the glass encased memory, tears that he quickly wiped away. He stared at her image, frozen forever in time. A time before she was gone. Before they got dragged back into the world of ghosts and demons and death.

Staring at her led to his tears drying. It lead to the realization that she would never truly be gone. It lead to him setting the photo down, taking a few deep breaths, and standing up. It lead to him picking up his keys and locking the door behind him.

It lead to his silent vow to her that he would get Darhk. No matter what it took. He would end the man that had ended her. The monster that had taken Felicity from the world.

* * *

 **In case anyone is confused, Felicity was just a hallucination. Like the ones Oliver had in 2x09, "Three Ghosts".**

 ***remember, reviews help me to know whether or not I'm doing a good job with these characters/scenarios ;)***

 **Thank you all for reading!**


End file.
